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Well here we are one month gone of 2011.
So many challenge's weight loss, work, weather, and the frustrations of trying to find my way. Some days it feels like I know everything that I need other days I am so lost.
Today is just another day I woke up and the weather was perfect all to let the temperature drop 20 degrees and make it a cold windy and miserable to even be out for a long period. The weather is going to be in the 60s Saturday. I have not had a ridding lesson since before the second weekend of January it is so wet and the horses look like big mud balls.
On the upside I am working for the next two weeks I have fallen in love with this barn and I have goals for what I would like in a future barn. I am enjoying being involved with horses cleaning stalls the smell the sound and the work. It is so nice!
As for trying to find my way with weight loss I am back on track of eating healthier and trying to stick with a yoga routine to start off with. I am so frustrated because a year ago I lived to workout and I took a few months off and I am in a black hole that I keep trying to dig out of and I have not fully come up. I am finding it hard not to crave my junk food but eventually the cravings will go away.
I am looking forward to warmer weather and seeing the flowers pop up out of the ground only time will give me what I look forward to seeing.
Only time will bring me peace that I need but I am not sure what type of peace I need yet.
Friends come and Go but Depression sticks with you for a life time.
Julie, Sweetie - I know exactly how you feel. You need to find what you are passionate about, and go with it. I know you love your photography - maybe you just need to go someplace to take some beautiful photos? Or get involved with more horse training - maybe you could talk to those people you're horse sitting for, and see if you could cut a deal with them for using the indoor arena in bad weather? Just find something - the YOU that you are trying to find is there....it doesn't fall with anyone else and no one else can help you. You just have to dig within.
ReplyDeleteHey, and I'm always here and know how it is, so if you wanna talk, give me a jingle (if you can get thru with T on the phone all the time!) or write to me - either way.
Hang in there Sweetie. There's more than one way to find your way out of a black hole - believe me - I've done it my entire life - in, out, in, out.
Love ya Kid.
Martha